*** Updated 4/12/2021 ***

A client once asked if I would meet with his friend and talk about commercial real estate brokerage. The friend was interested in changing careers and wanted to speak with someone in the business. He wanted to learn the differences between residential and commercial brokerage.

Ethan (not his real name) was thirty years old and married. He had three kids and a fourth on the way. His face lit up when talking about his family. Ethan had a good job and had worked there since graduating high school. Unfortunately, his employer could no longer afford his salary and notified him that they let him go.

He proclaimed himself a fan of Dave Ramsey and even brought Ramsey’s EntreLeadership to our meeting. He’s also read various investing books such as Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He seemed very bright, and I enjoyed talking with him.

Ethan told me that his in-laws planned to sell him and his wife a rental home under market value. This opportunity excited him. It would thrill me, too! However, he stated he would flip it once he finished the repairs. We talked about retaining the property for cash flow versus flipping it, but it was clear he had a vision of a one-time check.

Everyone has a different journey, and mine didn’t have to be the same as his. Plenty of people have gotten wealthy flipping property. Maybe Ethan would as well.

What gave me pause, though, was a statement he made. It was something I said before, and I’m sure countless others have said.

Ethan shook his head and muttered, “I’m tired of just scraping by.”

Scraping By

Most of us have been there.

We live paycheck to paycheck and wonder where the next house payment will come from. Groceries go on the credit card. Gas goes on the gas card. The kids’ shoes go on the Target card. Every day is a struggle.

This kind of scraping by is the worst. It’s miserable and will suck your soul dry. No one feels good living this way.

However, there is another kind of scraping by—a better type of struggle.

Every dollar is allocated for a specific purpose. The initial mission might be to build a small emergency fund—just a $1,000 set aside “in case.”

Once that’s done, the focus turns to eliminating debt.

Things are only bought because they are needed, not wanted. Oh, those wants might sound great, but giving in to them means going back to a life of misery.

Lunches are brought to work instead of eaten out. I told my lunchbox story already, but some of the guys in the office joked about it. Eventually, they ignored it. When they asked why I brought my lunch, I told them, “I’m on budget lockdown.” So, they stopped including me in their lunch runs. My lunch costs a fraction of theirs. The excuse for eating out is convenience, but my goal is freedom.

My girlfriend and I dine at home almost every night. That’s not how I used to live my life. This is better. Our meals are planned, and there are occasionally leftover nights. I love leftovers, by the way.

When friends ask if we’ve tried the hot new restaurant in town, we often shake our heads. I used to try them all. I convinced myself that I needed to know all the places to eat due to my profession. It was a lie I sold myself. What lies are you selling yourself?

The talk about the latest hot television series goes over my head since we cut cable. I’m teased for being cheap, but “budget lockdown” is always an acceptable answer. My cable and internet bill used to run over $200/month. I wanted the coolest channels so I could be part of those discussions. But I was never happy about my financial situation. And when I struggled to pay my monthly bills, why the hell did I spend $200/month for cable?

$200/month x 12 months = $2,400/year.

How many house payments is that? If it’s even one, is your TV addiction worth it?

My car is fully paid off, which was easy when I paid cash for it. It’s used and not flashy. Do you know how much my clients cared that it wasn’t new? Zero, zilch, nada. Do you know how many care that it's still not new ten years later? The same zero. But my friends with car payments seem to care a lot. Several of them have made comments that it’s time for me to get a new car. Why do they care?

When I wrote this, the most exotic vacation I took with my family was attached to a business conference. Yet it was the most fun I’d had on a trip. Is San Diego exotic? Not really, but it was enough for my family and me. It was also frugal and smart.

Some watch my lifestyle and don’t comprehend what I’m doing. It might look dull. Maybe even weird. But for the first time in my life, scraping by isn’t what it looks like.

I’ve got a savings account set aside. I’ve accumulated some investments. I’ve got piece of mind.

The funny thing is this is how I should have been living my life when I started working, but I didn’t. I pretended to be rich. I spent every dollar and more due to the availability of credit cards.

Scraping by when you don’t have to is radically different than scraping by when it’s all you can do. I’ve done both.

This version is a heck of a lot more fun.

What about you?
Do you look at scraping by as a choice or
is scraping by dictated to you by your choices?